After everything I’ve done for him… he stabs me in the back! Every time I saw him, he was eating the grass. I even gave him lettuce… my good stuff! For what? This is how he pays me back?? I couldn’t believe my eyes. All this time, I was blaming the mangy, rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, tomato-eating squirrel. At least the squirrel is man enough to do it to my face.
UPDATE: I put out my new plastic snake… he tried to eat it!