This is no way to live! Isn’t it everybody’s dream to live in Southern California? I just realized that I live here in constant fear. These are real things that I think about every day. Let’s review:
1) Earthquakes: Every time I drive and have to stop at a light under a freeway overpass, I get nervous. “What if today’s the day for the big one? What if the overpass comes down on my car? Should I get down on the floor of the car? What if they find me and I’m not wearing my good underwear?”
2) High speed police chases: We just had another high speed chase last night – it seems to be a weekly occurence. Whenever I drive through a large intersection on a green light, I’m nervous. “What if there’s a high speed chase and he’s going so fast I won’t even see him coming? What if there’s a shootout and he uses my car as a shield? What if he T-bones me at 90 mph? Maybe I shouldn’t drive.”
3) Rattlesnakes: There are signs everywhere… at the nursery, on the walking trails, in the canyons – It’s rattlesnake season! My gardener just reminded me to be careful, it’s rattlesnake season. “What if I’m in my back yard and I step on one? What if I’m gardening and I pick one up by accident? What if I scare one and it bites me and I don’t make it to the hospital in time? What if I die on the way, or I’m in the ambulance and a high speed chase hits us, or we have to stop under a freeway overpass and there’s an earthquake?!”
4) Spiders: Spider season is also coming and for some reason, my house gets some HUGE spiders, mostly at night. “What if a spider crawls on my face when I’m sleeping? What if that red mark on my leg is a spider bite? What if it’s a black widow or a brown recluse? What if I die in my sleep from a spider bite? What if I wake up and it’s on my eye?”
This is no way to live!
UPDATE @ MIDNIGHT: